63 Ways to Become More Confident

Confidence is a tool you can use in your everyday life to do all kinds of cool stuff, not least to stop fighting with yourself and freely plug into the things that matter to you.

Here are 63 things YOU can do to be more confident.  Pick a couple that jump out, give them a shot and let me know what happens.

1. Sign up for that evening class and enjoy it.
2. Ask your partner or best friend what you can do for them today.
3. Hit the gym.  The physiological effects will leave you feeling great.
4. Go to a networking event and focus on how you can be helpful rather than being nervous.
5. Get crystal clear on the things that truly matter to you.  If they’re not in your life, you need to bring them in.
6. Write a list of the things you’re tolerating in your life, then write down how you can remove, minimise or diminish each one.
7. Look at a great win or success you’ve experienced and give yourself credit for your part in it.
8. Next time you’re at a social event, don’t just stick with the people you know – have a conversation with someone you don’t know and you never know what – or who – you’ll discover.
9. Next time you talk yourself out of doing something, say ‘What the Hell’ and go do it anyway.
10. Do one thing each day that makes you smile (inside or out).
11. Learn the 7 biggest confidence mistakes, and then fix ‘em.

Ask out that girl or guy you fancy the pants off

12. Ask out that girl or guy you fancy the pants off (only if you’re single, don’t want to get you into trouble).
13. You have to keep your mind well fed, so write a list of 20 things that keeps your mind feeling nourished and make sure you’re giving them room.
14. Stop squeezing yourself into boxes based on what you think people expect you to act like.
15. Catch yourself every single time you tell yourself that you can’t have, won’t get or aren’t good enough to get what you want.
16. Take yourself off auto-pilot – make deliberate decisions on what really matters to you.
17. Next time you come up against a risk or a challenge, listen to yourself and see how that dialog can be improved.
18. Scared of looking silly? You and everyone else.  It’s no biggie so don’t let it stop you.  Say it with me – “It just doesn’t matter.”
19. Don’t think for a second that you can’t be confident.  There are already loads of things you do with true self-confidence, you just have to notice them and get familiar with how it feels.

Listen to yourdoubts

20. Listen to your doubts – they’re there to let you know what you need to prepare for.  Use them to your benefit as you move forwards.
21. Think of a time when it felt like a whole bank of switches in your head flicked to the on position.  What were you doing and what’s the reason it felt so great?
22. You’ve got a whole bunch of out-dated rules that determine what you do or don’t do.  Tear up your rule book and notice how free you are to make great decisions.
23. Sweep aside the roles and labels you slip into without thinking, and just be you instead.
24. Look at how you’re using the 5 Principles of Self-Confidence in your life.
25. If there’s someone in your life who puts you down or makes you feel small, you owe it to yourself to let them know that you expect something different from now on.
26. Flirt.  It’s a harmless way to play around with connecting with people and having fun.
27. Reveal a little bit of the real you in a relationship that might feel like it’s in a rut.
28. Notice and welcome all of your experiences – the good stuff as well as the bad stuff.
29. Always recognise that you’re more than a match for any situation you might find yourself in, no matter how tough the going gets.
30. Don’t get swept up in the drama of what’s happening right now, look for more useful ways of engaging with what happens in your life.
31. Don’t automatically give in to the instant pay-off – it often means you’re selling yourself short.
32. When you feel like stamping your foot and yelling “I deserve better than this!”, take a step back and say “I can BE better than this.”
33. Confidence sometimes means admitting you’re wrong – always be ready to hold your hand up and change your mind.
34. Trust your instincts.  They know what they’re talking about.

Fear is a way of letting you know that you’re about to stretch yourself

35. Fear is a way of letting you know that you’re about to stretch yourself and grow your confidence.  Use it to take yourself forwards rather than run away.
36. Imagine you’re visited by a successful, confident, attractive and vibrant version of you from the future, and listen to what they want to tell you.
37. Don’t feel like you have to do everything yourself – sometimes the most confident thing to do is ask for help.
38. Take a chance on something tomorrow.  Anything, big or small, just take a chance.
39. You need to be around people who make you feel like YOU, so spend more time with the people who support and encourage you and less with those who undermine you.
40. Stop struggling against the things you don’t like in your life – create an environment around you that flows and allows you to be you.
41. No man’s an island, and you need to participate in the world you around to feel confident.
42. Do something bold in the face of your challenges and fears.
43. Work on developing the skills you need to win at the things that matter to you.
44. The body is a mirror for the mind, so shifting your body into a confident state can have surprising results.
45. Don’t get disheartened or demotivated when you get to 90% with something you’re working on – push through and you’ll see that the last 10% is where the magic happens.

Don’t try to validate yourself through comparison – you’re just peachy as you are

46. Keep comparing yourself to others?  Stop it, don’t try to validate yourself through comparison – you’re just peachy as you are.
47. Put your head above the parapet at work and speak up if there’s something you think could be improved or if you have an idea you think has legs.
48. If there’s something you’ve been struggling to understand for a while, stop trying to understand it.  Accept it just as it is, fully and wholly.
49. Shy with new people?  Not a problem, that’s allowed.  Just don’t overthink it, start beating yourself up or thinking you’re less than because you’re shy – the more you think like that the worse it gets.
50. Your environment directly impacts your self-perception, so if you’re surrounded by clutter, paperwork and rubbish put a morning aside to clean up your stuff and get organised.
51. Write yourself a daisy list and start making things happen.
52. Don’t make your happiness or self-worth dependent on being in a relationship or being validated by someone else.  Find your inherent value first, and your relationships and confidence will be immeasurably better.
53. Your strengths can be used to overcome any of your weaknesses.  Don’t let them undermine your confidence.
54. The longer you leave that big thing on your to-do list the more it’ll drain you and the bigger it’ll seem – get it done and free yourself up.
55. What golden threads, themes, patterns and passions have always been in your life?  If those things aren’t present in your life right now, you need to shift your priorities.
56. Your body image does matter, because if you have a bad relationship with your body you won’t be feeling confident in yourself.  Get trim if you need to, just make sure you get along with your body.
57. Get the Truly Confident Living Home Study Course and dive right in.

The well-trodden paths of your life can easily turn from familiarity to apathy and disconnection

58. Try a new path.  The well-trodden paths of your life can easily turn from familiarity to apathy and disconnection.  A new path wakes you up.
59. Don’t say “Yes” to taking on a task simply because you don’t want to rock the boat – you can politely decline requests you can’t meet and don’t need to create an excuse for it.
60. Look at the people you respect who seem confident – don’t copy them, but identify what do they do differently that conveys confidence and what you can learn from it.
61. Make a plan to do something, then follow through.  Achievement gives you important self-reinforcement.
62. When you feel yourself focusing inwards and becoming paralysed with doubt or fear, switch to focusing outwards at what you can engage and interact with.
63. Still beating yourself up for failing or screwing up? It no barrel of laughs, so it’s much better to recognise that everything, whether it turns out or not, is practice in living a rich life.

Improve your self confidence in 15 minutes

Some people have naturally high levels of confidence but everybody can learn to be more confident

Firstly, it’s important to get a clear idea of what self confidence really means, otherwise you won’t know when you’ve got it! So, self confidence means:

1) Being calm. For every situation in life you need to run on the appropriate level of emotion. Too much emotional ‘leakage’ into a experience can spoil the experience. You make great strides towards confidence when you begin to relax in a greater range of situations.

2) Being cool. The second part of self confidence is about being able to relax with uncertainty. To be ‘cool’ in a situation really means relaxing with not knowing how things will pan out. If you truly tolerate uncertainty, you can do pretty much anything.

3) Not being too concerned with what others think of you. You know when you imagine what some place is going to be like before you go there but when you get there it is totally different to your imagination? That’s how reliable your imagination is! Stop trusting your imagination so much. I’ve long since stopped bothering to imagine what others think of me because so often I’ve turned out to be wrong.

4) Being specific – where do you want confidence? ‘Confidence‘ is meaningless until you tie it to something specific. You are already confident that you can read these words or can switch a light on and off. So you don’t need more confidence everywhere. To get what you want in life you have to establish exactly what you do want. Where do you want confidence in your life? Think about the specific situations now and write them down. You beginning to steer your brain towards confidence.

5) Understanding that what you expect is what you get. Your brain is an organ that needs clear goals to work towards. When a task has been set in your brain it will do everything it can do to bring about the completion of that task. If you’ve tried to recall someone’s name but can’t, hours later you’ll often find their name pops into your head.

The ‘trying to recall’ experience set the task or blueprint for your brain’s future subconscious behaviour which eventually produced the name for you – when you weren’t thinking about it consciously. You can use this natural mechanism to start feeling more confident. But, to ensure you set the right task for your subconscious mind, the next point is vital.

6) Don’t task your mind with negatives. Instead of: ‘I don’t want to screw up’ (which sets the task of ‘screwing up’ for your brain), set the blueprint for what you do want! Your brain doesn’t work towards what to do by being told what not to do. And nature has given you a wonderful natural tool to set the right task blueprints with.

7) Use nature’s goal-setter: Now you understand how vital it is to set the right task for you brain, you need to know how to do this reliably. Good hypnosis will strongly ‘program’ the right blueprint in your mind through the use of your imagination. If you powerfully imagine feeling confident and relaxed while in a relaxed hypnotic state it will be hard for your unconscious mind to do anything else. The blueprint for relaxation has been set firmly into your subconscious mind.

3 simple strategies to get you feeling confident quickly:

1) Think specifically of the time/place/situation you want to feel confident in. Remember ‘confidence’ doesn’t mean anything until you attach it to something specific.

2) Focus on words in your mind right now that describe how you do want to be in that time and place. Maybe words such as ‘calm’, ‘relaxed’ or ‘focused’. Remember your brain works on clear positive instructions.

3) Close your eyes for as long as you like and think about how those words feel. Then, imagine the situation itself and rehearse it in your mind feeling confident and relaxed. This way you set the right blueprint or ‘task’ for your unconscious mind.

You can repeat this often to make it more effective and use it with as many areas of your life as you need to. If you listen to a hypnotic cd or download that can make the benefits even more powerful (see my profile below). So if you feel like you’d be blessed with less confidence than some other people you can start redressing the balance by using your mind in the right way right now.

It took me years to learn how to be more confident – now you can do it in a fraction of the time. Good luck!

Top 5 Ways to Build a Wonderful Life

1. Live Below Your Means

There will always be temptation to forsake the future for immediate gratification. We all want to buy that new piece of technology, treat ourselves to an expensive night on the town, or take out a loan for the flashy car we can’t afford. It might feel great at the time but rash spending hurts a lot later on.

Enjoy life’s simple pleasures and save as much as you can. Expensive things don’t create lasting happiness and security. Careful spending will bring you greater leisure and enjoyment in the long run.

2. Put Your Money to Work

Saving is great, but to make the most of your money you need to put it to work. Good investments can be the difference between retiring in your 40′s or in your 60′s.

A post today at The Simple Dollar really got me thinking. According to Trent’s projections, if a person in their early 20′s invests 20% of their income in an S&P index fund, the interest they earn will equal their current salary when they reach their early 40′s. They could retire without a drop in income!

Wise investing is the surest path to financial independence and it’s something everyone can work on. It’s definitely an area I’ll be devoting more attention to in my personal life and on this blog.

3. Educate Yourself

To be happy we need continuous growth. The best way to grow is life long education. This doesn’t mean you need to pursue a doctorate or spend 2 hours reading every day. Self education can be anything that takes you out of your comfort zone. The important part is keeping an open mind and searching for fresh ideas and perspectives.

Education builds over time. It might feel like the bits of wisdom you acquire don’t mean much, but over the years they add up to form a wiser, kinder, more interesting person.

4. Develop Lasting Personal Relationships

Suppose you had everything you wanted. Would you be happy without anyone to share it with? The personal relationships we develop with friends and family members are the greatest source of happiness in our lives. Don’t forget about them.

Taking the time to cultivate and enjoy personal relationships is essential to longterm happiness. Without the people you care about you’ll probably be miserable, no matter how successful you become.

5. Work Towards a Dream You’re Passionate About

Even if your life isn’t perfect, you can always build towards a goal you’re passionate about. If you aren’t building towards something, you’re probably stagnating. When this happens to me I start to feel like a victim trapped by my own life. The best way to reverse this is working towards a goal.

We can’t control everything about our lives, but working towards a goal gives us something positive to focus on and lays the foundation for future success. No matter what your passion is, get out there and start doing something. As Lao Tzu said, even a journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step.

Bonus: 6. Stay in Shape

You only get one body. Once it’s been ruined there isn’t much you can do about it. Exercise to keep the rust off. Avoid excessive consumption of damaging substances and unhealthy foods. It may feel like terrible self denial at the time but enjoying good health in your later years is worth the sacrifice.

10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence

Build Self Confidence

1. Dress Sharp

Although clothes don’t make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you don’t look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. Use this to your advantage by taking care of your personal appearance. In most cases, significant improvements can be made by bathing and shaving frequently, wearing clean clothes, and being cognizant of the latest styles.

This doesn’t mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. One great rule to follow is “spend twice as much, buy half as much”. Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, high quality items. In long run this decreases spending because expensive clothes wear out less easily and stay in style longer than cheap clothes. Buying less also helps reduce the clutter in your closet.

2. Walk Faster

One of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about herself is to examine her walk. Is it slow? tired? painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. Even if you aren’t in a hurry, you can increase your self confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more important.

3. Good Posture

Similarly, the way a person carries herself tells a story. People with slumped shoulders and lethargic movements display a lack of self confidence. They aren’t enthusiastic about what they’re doing and they don’t consider themselves important. By practicing good posture, you’ll automatically feel more confident. Stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. You’ll make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered.

4. Personal Commercial

One of the best ways to build confidence is listening to a motivational speech. Unfortunately, opportunities to listen to a great speaker are few and far between. You can fill this need by creating a personal commercial. Write a 30-60 second speech that highlights your strengths and goals. Then recite it in front of the mirror aloud (or inside your head if you prefer) whenever you need a confidence boost.

5. Gratitude

When you focus too much on what you want, the mind creates reasons why you can’t have it. This leads you to dwell on your weaknesses. The best way to avoid this is consciously focusing on gratitude. Set aside time each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for. Recall your past successes, unique skills, loving relationships, and positive momentum. You’ll be amazed how much you have going for you and motivated to take that next step towards success.

6. Compliment other people

When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. To break this cycle of negativity, get in the habit of praising other people. Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, you’ll become well liked and build self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.

7. Sit in the front row

In schools, offices, and public assemblies around the world, people constantly strive to sit at the back of the room. Most people prefer the back because they’re afraid of being noticed. This reflects a lack of self confidence. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over this irrational fear and build your self confidence. You’ll also be more visible to the important people talking from the front of the room.

8. Speak up

During group discussions many people never speak up because they’re afraid that people will judge them for saying something stupid. This fear isn’t really justified. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you’ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.

9. Work out

Along the same lines as personal appearance, physical fitness has a huge effect on self confidence. If you’re out of shape, you’ll feel insecure, unattractive, and less energetic. By working out, you improve your physcial appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive. Having the discipline to work out not only makes you feel better, it creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the day.

10. Focus on contribution

Too often we get caught up in our own desires. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on the needs of other people. If you stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on the contribution you’re making to the rest of the world, you won’t worry as much about you own flaws. This will increase self confidence and allow you to contribute with maximum efficiency. The more you contribute to the world the more you’ll be rewarded with personal success and recognition.

Face difficulties positively

This parable is told of a farmer who owned an old mule. The mule fell into the farmer’s well. The farmer heard the mule praying or whatever mules do when they fall into wells. After carefully assessing the situation, the farmer sympathized with the mule, but decided that neither the mule nor the well was worth the trouble of saving. Instead, he called his neighbors together, told them what had happened, and enlisted them to help haul dirt to bury the old mule in the well and put him out of his misery.

Initially the old mule was hysterical! But as the farmer and his neighbors continued shoveling and the dirt hit his back, a thought struck him. It suddenly dawned on him that every time a shovel load of dirt landed on his back, HE WOULD SHAKE IT OFF AND STEP UP!

This he did, blow after blow. “Shake it off and step up…shake it off and step up…shake it off and step up!” He repeated to encourage himself. No matter how painful the blows, or how distressing the situation seemed, the old mule fought panic and just kept right on SHAKING IT OFF AND STEPPING UP!

It wasn’t long before the old mule, battered and exhausted, stepped triumphantly over the wall of that well! What seemed like it would bury him actually helped him . . . all because of the manner in which he handled his adversity.

THAT’S LIFE! If we face our problems and respond to them positively, and refuse to give in to panic, bitterness, or self-pity.

I have learned…

I’ve learned-
that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.

I’ve learned-
that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I’ve learned-
that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.

I’ve learned-
that you should never ruin an apology with an excuse.

I’ve learned-
that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something.

I’ve learned-
that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do.

I’ve learned-
that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I’ve learned-
that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I’ve learned-
that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I’ve learned-
that you can keep going long after you can’t.

I’ve learned-
that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I’ve learned-
that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I’ve learned-
that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I’ve learned-
that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I’ve learned-
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I’ve learned-
that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I’ve learned-
that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I’ve learned-
that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

I’ve learned-
that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I’ve learned-
that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

I’ve learned-
that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I’ve learned-
that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.

I’ve learned-
that your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren’t related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological.

I’ve learned-
that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you are to learn to forgive yourself.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I’ve learned-
that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I’ve learned-
that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.

I’ve learned-
that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

I’ve learned-
that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I’ve learned-
that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I’ve learned-
that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

I’ve learned-
that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I’ve learned-
that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I’ve learned-
that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

I’ve learned-
that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings, and standing up for what you believe.

I’ve learned-
that people will forget what you said, and people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

The important things in life

A philosophy professor stood before his class with some items on the table in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, about 2 inches in diameter.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “Yes.”

“Now,” said the professor, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things – your family, your partner, your health, your children – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter – like your job, your house, your car.

The sand is everything else. The small stuff.”

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued “there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal.

Take care of the rocks first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

10 Amazing Facts about Love

Love is a light of your life. Everyone know that love increases our live's quality. If still there are some people who don't believe this, we have found some funny scientific love facts to prove this theory:)


1. People are more likely to tilt their heads to the right when kissing instead of the left (65 percent of people go to the right!).


2. The oldest known love song was written 4,000 years ago and comes from an area between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers.


3. One in five long-term love relationships began with one or both partners being involved with others.


4. Falling in love can induce a calming effect on the body and mind and raises levels of nerve growth factor for about a year, which helps to restore the nervous system and improves the lover’s memory.


5. Love can also exert the same stress on your body as deep fear. You see the same physiological responses—pupil dilation, sweaty palms, and increased heart rate.


6. Philadelphia International Airport finished as the No. 1 best airport for making a love connection, according to a recent survey.


7. Men who kiss their wives in the morning live five years longer than those who don't.


8. The tradition of the diamond engagement ring comes from Archduke Maximillian of Austria who, in the 15th century, gave a diamond ring to his fiancée, Mary of Burgundy.


9. People who are newly in love produce decreased levels of the hormone serotonin —as low as levels seen in people with obsessive-compulsive disorder. Perhaps that’s why it’s so easy to feel obsessed when you’re smitten.


10. According to mathematical theory, we should date a dozen people before choosing a long-term partner; that provides the best chance that you’ll make a love match.


This one may not surprise you, but we had to share it: Having a romantic relationship makes both genders happier. The stronger the commitment, the greater the happiness!

Fail Compilation

The Window

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man  was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour a day to drain the fluids from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.
The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and   families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military  service, where they had been on vacation. And every afternoon when the  man in the bed next to the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.
The man in the other bed would live for those one-hour periods where  his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and  color of the outside world. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake, the man had said. Ducks and swans played on the water while  children sailed their model boats. Lovers walked arm in arm amid flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite  detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.
One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.  Although the other man could not hear the band, he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive  words. Unexpectedly, an alien thought entered his head: Why should hehave all the pleasure of seeing everything while I never get to see  anything? It didn't seem fair. As the thought fermented, the man felt  ashamed at first. But as the days passed and he missed seeing more sights, his envy eroded into resentment and soon turned him sour. He   began to brood and found himself unable to sleep. He should be by that  window - and that thought now controlled his life.
Late one night, as he lay staring at the ceiling, the man by the window  began to cough. He was choking on the fluid in his lungs. The other man   watched in the dimly lit room as the struggling man by the window groped for the button to call for help. Listening from across the room, he never moved, never pushed his own button which would have brought the nurse running. In less than five minutes, the coughing and choking  stopped, along with the sound of breathing. Now, there was only silence--deathly silence.
The following morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths. When she found the lifeless body of the man by the window, she was saddened and called the hospital attendant to take it away--no  words, no fuss. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the man asked if he  could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.
Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his   first look. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it all himself. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall.


Moral of the story:


The pursuit of happiness is a matter of choice...it is a positive attitude we consciously choose to express. It is not a gift that gets delivered to our doorstep each morning, nor does it come through the window. And I am certain that our circumstances are just a small part of what makes us joyful. If we wait for them to get just right, we will never find lasting joy.


The pursuit of happiness is an inward journey. Our minds are like   programs, awaiting the code that will determine behaviors; like bank vaults awaiting our deposits. If we regularly deposit positive, encouraging, and uplifting thoughts, if we continue to bite our lips  just before we begin to grumble and complain, if we shoot down that seemingly harmless negative thought as it germinates, we will find that there is much to rejoice about.